In case you still don't know where the fuck to vote tomorrow.
Vote wisely this Tuesday.
Vote wisely this Tuesday.
Hello gang, this is Reuben Glaser – you know, the creator of Little Face Mitt. I’ve been asked almost daily for the past three months who I support (as if it is something that matters), and if LFM is pro-Romney or pro-Obama. As things all come to a close as far as I’m concerned and the Little Face Mitt meme enjoys it’s very last golden dusk on this, the last Friday of the election, I feel a certain sense of duty to tell you who I do in fact support and who I think you should vote for. While I know Little Face Mitt was far from the most august contribution to the direction of this election, as stupid as it may be it still invariably had some semblance of influence and a few of you seemed then and still do seem curious as to my own motivations. That was the most fun for me, actually, to see the journalists and reporters flounder around trying to interpret the meaning of LFM. While I purposefully intended to leave it all wide open for anybody to get anything they wanted out of it, I still have my own reasons for starting it in the first place.
Of course, I do realize that most of you don’t come here for politics or endorsements of any kind and just enjoy the zany pictures, so if you are one of those people, just stop reading this right now and go back to enjoying the LFM archives. And some of you may think I am a bigmouth opportunist who is exploiting a platform he built for doing this. But if one has a voice and people will listen when they use it, they ought to make sure it is heard. This is especially true when matters are as important as this election. I never thought I’d be in a position where my opinion would have any relevance (and maybe it actually doesn’t), but given the assumed inkling that it does, I intend to utilize this opportunity. And I have nearly 13,000 of you. I hope I can get through to at least one of you. But if you don’t agree, then you should see yourself out because I am going to roll out my endorsement in the next sentence.
I support Barack Obama, and you should vote for him.
But even if you disagree with me on that, you should vote for whoever you want to vote for. I’m not against Third Party Candidates if you believe in them either. In fact, the first vote I ever cast was in a grade-school mock election for president. I voted Ralph Nader. I was the only person in the entire school to do so. He tied with “Beef Wellington” and “The Moon,” both apparently write-in candidates. But people talked about it for weeks after they read it over the loudspeaker. So you should vote for Gary Johnson if you support him, or Jill Stein if you support her, or Rocky Anderson or Vermin Supreme, or even, although I fundamentally disagree with you, Mitt Romney if you support Mitt Romney. At all costs, through Hell and high water, you should vote. You should ALWAYS get out there and vote. It is one of our most important privileges, and nobody should ever squander it. And no matter who you vote for, there is no such thing as a wasted vote. The only wasted vote is if you just don’t vote. So you should vote. You should absolutely, always vote.
I think you should vote for Barack Obama, though.
Anyway, enough of that. I’ve spoken my two cents and I hope it may be heeded. Thanks for the time it took you to read this.
Now VOTE ON TUESDAY, Goddammit!
-Normal Faced Reuben Glaser
Rob Delaney: YOU DO THIS NOW. -
OK, lots of “fun” news about Romney imploding in various ways and Obama polling better, but that isn’t why Obama will win. He’ll win because MORE PEOPLE VOTE FOR HIM. The way you personally can ensure this happens is by using this tool: call.barackobama.com.
You can call people (registered…